just when i thought it couldn't get worst...

It did got worst...what happenened brought a few laughter and definitely a smile to many fren's face and brighten up their day but I just want to crawl into a hole.

So well..i've sent my resume to a recruiter, went for an interview and they have decided to 'market' me to a few potential employers. Found a fantastic opportunity and emailed my resume to the director there. Unfortunately, THE EMPLOYER IS MY CURRENT COMPANY!! THEY EMAILED MY RESUME BACK TO MY DIRECTOR!! Her reply to the recruiter was -

Thank you for forwarding this candidate's resume. She is definitely a very suitable candidate but unfortunately, she is working for us at the moment.

So after the drama in the meeting, they had to rub it in and emailed my resume to my director. Thanks guys...~!#$%%$#@#! I've never swore so much in my life. Again, I have to go speak to her and do some damage control.

Please let me swear just one last time..

YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! ISN'T IT COMMON SENSE THAT AS A RECRUITER, YOU DONT EMAIL YOUR CANDIDATE'S RESUME BACK TO THEIR OWN EMPLOYER/COMPANY??? NOT EVERYONE CAN WALK TO THEIR OWN DIRECTOR AND HAVE A 5MIN CHAT!!

Had to stay professional on the phone when they told me what happened..so well...got it out of my system now. bloody d*ckheads..you better get me a high paying job soon as compensation..

i lost it..and i hate myself for doing what i did

I did something that i regretted today. Had to do some damage control after that but I am still feeling bad. Wasn't feeling very well before a meeting and I tried to get out of it but was forced to go. Felt like throwing up and was feeling sick and having an hour of meeting isn't the best. The meeting was a get together for everyone to whinge to the director and towards the end of the hour, i just snapped. I went off and said things i shouldn't have. It wouldn't have been so bad if we werent force to get out of the meeting room but we had to as it was booked for something else so everything was left dangling. Had a chat with my director and manager after that and well i guess damage control was successful.

I think i need to make myself happy again and I need to start focusing on what is important in life. Work wasn't my life before and I was happy because I had my own little business to deal with after work. It takes the stress away and i feel that it wasn't everything to me. Ever since i started reducing my after hours little business, I'm not as happy. So i guess I need to get that balance back!

Fingers crossed...i want to stay positive and happy..

Too much to drink..but had a great time..until

Love drinking sessions. So much fun until you get home and start throwing up. Haven't had that much to drink for a long time too. Girl at work drove me up the wall again and i just had enough. Went out for drinks straight after work with a bunch of frens and its free flow alcohol and well, since i needed it. I just went all out...had lots of fun and realised that almost everyone resigned.

I have finally decided to move on. It's no longer even about the salary anymore. I can't work with a bunch of idiots and if i am not learning anything and the company's not giving me much career options, I should go. Everyone has been encouraging me to go as well. The usual words of you're smart, you can do so much better, you are underutilised here etc etc...

Oh well..I've got an interview lined up next week and another company seems to be pretty keen to get me in for an interview after the closing date so fingers crossed. I want the job with a later closing date as they are paying a lot more and job is challenging but I'm a little concerned as the interviews are 1-2 weeks apart and what if i get a job offer before they offer me a job? Ekk..gotta start playing the delay strategy :)

Fingers crossed!

Been busy preparing my resume and cover letter. I really really want this new job that I'll be applying for. Might have to cancel my overseas trip in July but it is definitely worth it! So fingers crossed and hopefully, things will work out. Wish me lots of luck!!!!!

And valerie, if you are reading this...I WANT MY COACH BAG! :p

Besides that, I think i need to start adding new songs to my ipod and start listening to it to drown out all the nonsense at work. I dont mind what I am doing but the people around me just irritates me! Manager's typical women..over the top..dramatic..went back to work and I have been assigned to work with and train someone who has terrible work ethics and it is irritating the shit out of me. He's not interested and has been going for lots of interviews so it's hard to work with someone like that when I have a daily target to meet. Came up with a new plan and hopefully it will work. By the end of the week, my manager can ask how's the training. And well, I can say that he's taking half a day to do something that I finish in 1/2 hour and since he can't even copy with something simple, I don't see why I should train him on anything else.

I hate office politics..i'm praying hard that i'll get the new job...

hmm..proceed with care...

Today, someone contacted me and I feel that she is up to no good and only want some information so that she can go tell everyone else! Well I told her what I wanted her and the rest of the world to know and that's it :)

Some background information. I had major issues with this girl and the rest of the crowd. They are my ex-bf's friends. We had lots of arguments and I have said very unkind things about the feeling is mutual. I can say that they partly caused the breakup but I am glad they did that because looking back, I'm glad I didn't stay a single minute longer than I really should.

So anyhow, we stopped talking a long time ago and havent spoken for more than 2 years. I have blocked her on my MSN for a long time but feel that I shouldn't bear a grudge for so long and well, unblock her and made myself feel a lot better. So it must have been at least 6-12 months ever since and received my first message from her today, asking if i'm married! I wish I can tell her that I am happily married with kids and life's great but well, I had to tell her the truth and said I'm engaged for over a year now, followed by...how r u. Not that I care but I guess sometimes, no matter how you feel towards someone, you have to greet them or acknowledge them. So well..either how...proceed with care. Not going to give her a full rundown of my life so that she can add some spice and tell the rest of the world. :)

i'm so unproductive!

I reckon I don't have the discipline to stay at home and deal with an online business. I seem to be able to work better in a more stressful environment. I spend a lot of time surfing the net and doing 'research' so I guess i fit into a mechandiser's role nicely. Love sourcing and ordering goods but it is the rest of it that I have issues with. When I used to sell in a huge volume, I seem to be like a production line. I can just keep working non-stop but these days when I try and cut down and take things slowly, I practically do nothing!

Discipline.....i need to have discipline....

i'm tempted...if only life was all abt having fun!

Jetstar's having a sale! Take a friend for $3 sale! So well, flights to melbourne will only be $192 RETURN!!! Do I want to go to melbourne? YES YES YES! Should I go to Melbourne? NO NO NO :( So it is a tug of war between being rational and emotional again and well, i have to say that I am being rational this time and only reason is because I'm going to Singapore 1st week of july and I really shouldn't go to melbourne again. My bank account is bleeding profusely!

Why do i want to go to melbourne? To see my fiance's cousins! I absolutely adore them and his relatives are such fun people to hang out with! And most importantly, friends from work are going in August. I'm not too sure if i would want to go with them. I can imagine the non-stop shopping and drinking and i'll feel even more exhausted than before! I know we will have so much fun and it'll be like one of those days when you are out drinking and falling all over and you know you are having a great time until you have a hangover the next day! And since there will be 5 of us girls, fiance's going to feel left out or well, i dont think they want him to go anyway! It's meant to be a girly trip. So oh well, I guess I've found my own answer. I won't be going to melbourne...

Going out for drinks again on saturday night with the group..this time we're going for drinks at 5pm and then head off to the greyhounds or casino..will be fun gambling and drinking!